| SOFTBALL TIPS |
|
|
|
| SITE STUFF |
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
|
| • |
June 26, 2005 |
| • |
July 03, 2005 |
| • |
July 10, 2005 |
| • |
July 17, 2005 |
| • |
July 24, 2005 |
| • |
July 31, 2005 |
| • |
August 07, 2005 |
| • |
August 14, 2005 |
| • |
August 21, 2005 |
| • |
August 28, 2005 |
| • |
September 11, 2005 |
| • |
October 02, 2005 |
| • |
October 09, 2005 |
| • |
October 23, 2005 |
| • |
October 30, 2005 |
| • |
November 06, 2005 |
| • |
November 13, 2005 |
| • |
December 04, 2005 |
| • |
December 18, 2005 |
| • |
December 25, 2005 |
| • |
January 08, 2006 |
| • |
January 15, 2006 |
| • |
January 29, 2006 |
| • |
February 05, 2006 |
| • |
February 12, 2006 |
| • |
February 19, 2006 |
| • |
February 26, 2006 |
| • |
March 05, 2006 |
| • |
March 12, 2006 |
| • |
March 19, 2006 |
| • |
March 26, 2006 |
| • |
April 02, 2006 |
| • |
April 09, 2006 |
| • |
April 16, 2006 |
| • |
April 23, 2006 |
| • |
April 30, 2006 |
| • |
May 07, 2006 |
| • |
May 14, 2006 |
| • |
May 21, 2006 |
| • |
May 28, 2006 |
| • |
June 04, 2006 |
| • |
June 11, 2006 |
| • |
June 18, 2006 |
| • |
June 25, 2006 |
| • |
July 09, 2006 |
| • |
July 16, 2006 |
| • |
July 23, 2006 |
| • |
July 30, 2006 |
| • |
August 13, 2006 |
| • |
August 20, 2006 |
| • |
September 03, 2006 |
| • |
September 10, 2006 |
| • |
September 17, 2006 |
| • |
September 24, 2006 |
| • |
October 01, 2006 |
| • |
October 08, 2006 |
| • |
October 15, 2006 |
| • |
October 22, 2006 |
| • |
November 12, 2006 |
| • |
November 26, 2006 |
| • |
December 31, 2006 |
| • |
January 14, 2007 |
| • |
January 21, 2007 |
| • |
January 28, 2007 |
| • |
February 04, 2007 |
| • |
February 11, 2007 |
| • |
February 18, 2007 |
| • |
February 25, 2007 |
| • |
March 04, 2007 |
| • |
March 11, 2007 |
| • |
March 18, 2007 |
| • |
April 01, 2007 |
| • |
April 08, 2007 |
| • |
April 15, 2007 |
| • |
April 22, 2007 |
| • |
April 29, 2007 |
| • |
May 06, 2007 |
| • |
May 13, 2007 |
| • |
May 20, 2007 |
| • |
May 27, 2007 |
| • |
June 03, 2007 |
| • |
June 10, 2007 |
| • |
June 17, 2007 |
| • |
June 24, 2007 |
| • |
July 01, 2007 |
| • |
July 22, 2007 |
| • |
July 29, 2007 |
| • |
August 12, 2007 |
| • |
August 19, 2007 |
| • |
September 02, 2007 |
| • |
September 16, 2007 |
| • |
September 30, 2007 |
| • |
October 07, 2007 |
| • |
October 14, 2007 |
| • |
October 21, 2007 |
| • |
November 04, 2007 |
| • |
November 18, 2007 |
| • |
November 25, 2007 |
| • |
December 02, 2007 |
| • |
December 09, 2007 |
| • |
December 16, 2007 |
| • |
January 13, 2008 |
| • |
February 17, 2008 |
| • |
February 24, 2008 |
| • |
March 02, 2008 |
| • |
March 09, 2008 |
| • |
March 30, 2008 |
| • |
April 06, 2008 |
| • |
April 13, 2008 |
| • |
April 20, 2008 |
| • |
April 27, 2008 |
| • |
May 04, 2008 |
| • |
May 11, 2008 |
| • |
May 18, 2008 |
| • |
May 25, 2008 |
| • |
June 01, 2008 |
| • |
June 15, 2008 |
| • |
June 22, 2008 |
| • |
June 29, 2008 |
| • |
July 06, 2008 |
| • |
July 13, 2008 |
| • |
July 20, 2008 |
| • |
August 03, 2008 |
| • |
August 10, 2008 |
| • |
August 17, 2008 |
| • |
August 24, 2008 |
| • |
August 31, 2008 |
| • |
September 07, 2008 |
| • |
September 14, 2008 |
| • |
September 21, 2008 |
| • |
September 28, 2008 |
| • |
October 05, 2008 |
| • |
October 12, 2008 |
| • |
October 19, 2008 |
| • |
October 26, 2008 |
| • |
November 02, 2008 |
| • |
November 09, 2008 |
| • |
November 16, 2008 |
| • |
November 30, 2008 |
| • |
December 07, 2008 |
| • |
December 21, 2008 |
| • |
December 28, 2008 |
| • |
February 15, 2009 |
| • |
February 22, 2009 |
| • |
April 12, 2009 |
| • |
April 19, 2009 |
| • |
April 26, 2009 |
| • |
May 03, 2009 |
| • |
May 10, 2009 |
| • |
May 17, 2009 |
| • |
May 24, 2009 |
| • |
May 31, 2009 |
| • |
June 07, 2009 |
| • |
June 14, 2009 |
| • |
June 21, 2009 |
| • |
July 05, 2009 |
| • |
July 12, 2009 |
| • |
July 19, 2009 |
| • |
August 02, 2009 |
| • |
August 30, 2009 |
| • |
September 06, 2009 |
| • |
September 20, 2009 |
| • |
October 04, 2009 |
| • |
October 11, 2009 |
| • |
October 18, 2009 |
| • |
November 08, 2009 |
| • |
November 15, 2009 |
| • |
November 22, 2009 |
| • |
November 29, 2009 |
| • |
December 27, 2009 |
| • |
January 03, 2010 |
| • |
January 10, 2010 |
| • |
January 17, 2010 |
| • |
January 24, 2010 |
| • |
January 31, 2010 |
| • |
March 14, 2010 |
| • |
March 21, 2010 |
| • |
March 28, 2010 |
|
|
| SOFTBALL LINKS |
|
|
|
The Collector
by Dave
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
A visitor to the site wrote in with a story about her daughter's travel ball team. She wrote:My daughter plus some friends formed a core of a new 14U team. The coach who arranged this team had a superstar head coach who would run things. We met him with his aging up team.
In order to form this team we needed many players to fill out the roster. We pulled it together and started winning. The original premise in forming this young team was to keep them together for 2 years and develop them into a force to be reckoned with!
The team's success is now attracting new players and it seems like when a new better thing comes along (especially a pitcher) a current player that has handled a position more than adequately is being benched. This leaves the player who thought they had a position locked up blindsided after welcoming the new teammate.
Question: Is this a common practice in travel ball? Is it ethical?
My immediate response to this question was, "no, this is not common in travel ball but it does happen. When you experience something like this, run like heck to get away from the coach and then make sure everyone with whom you come into contact learns your lesson." I think further analysis is justified because, while, as I said, this is not common, it is more common than it should be and the fallout can be so devastating that we should all educate ourselves and know the signs so we can avoid becoming a victim.
I have often heard folks in softball claim there is no longer any loyalty in travel softball. That means players are not loyal to teammates, teams or coaches and coaches and teams are not loyal to players. If this is true, on one hand, it could be the result of our society's "free agent" thinking and win at all costs ethos. On the other hand, the existence of coaches who "collect talent" combined with the supposed lack of loyalty within the game may just be manifestations of each other, an ever widening circle.
I say folks "claim" there is no longer any loyalty; "if this is true"; etc. because I am not entirely convinced that there is more disloyalty than there is real loyalty. I thin k I need to get down to common denominators before analyzing further.
The best definition of loyalty I can pull together quickly is - a strong sense of allegiance to a person or a cause combined with a willingness to sacrifice for them or it including a level of commitment of time and effort in order to accomplish some common goal. I suppose the most important words/concepts within the concept of loyalty are allegiance, sacrifice, commitment, common.
In this crowded world of billions of people, often working at odds with each other, it can be difficult to know the correct course of action to take in order to live one's life to the fullest. When one finds himself living in a crowded place, there is often a great deal of competition for too few resources. There are 6 loaves of bread and 20 families to feed. Our religious upbringing suggests that we can all share the bread and thereby feed everyone but the fact is 6 loaves will probably only feed, at most 10 families. We arrive early to get on line. We refuse to accept late comers' attempts to cut the line. We show little compassion to anyone seeking food. We look out for ourselves because nobody else is likely to.
In a more rural setting in which there may be just as little resources, we find ourselves a little more compassionate and willing to sacrifice because, given the rural circumstances, we intuitively understand that one day it will undoubtedly be ourselves seeking help. We form allegiances with our neighbors out of necessity. We form allegiances because we are better off with them. Such is the principle under which many societies have formed and remained strong. We help each other because we have a common goal, to survive, and we know that we will need each other in order to accomplish that goal. In urban settings, we don't even know the others who are on the line with us and we know that 1) we will probably never see them again and 2) they will never be able to help us achieve our goal of survival and most likely would be unwilling to help, if they could. We form allegiances with few, if any, others.
Somewhere between my hypothetical urban and rural settings lies the world of travel fastpitch softball. At first we may not see the society we enter as small or one in which we need our rural neighbors. It seems more like a city. But before long, we recognize the need for allegiances. Our kid's team is falling apart because half the kids are aging out and we need to find a new one. We see that guy we have been talking to for the past year and he knows a team that needs our kid and her friend. We need one kid to join our team because that ace pitcher has given up softball for travel soccer. That guy knows a good pitcher who is looking for a team.
Within the small confines of a particular team, allegiances build up because the coaches need to teach the girls and their effort would be largely thankless were it not for the affection which forms bonds that lead to allegiances. Parents understand that one kid who lives not so very far from them needs a ride to practices because they have just one parent and that parent must work late on practice days. Coaches, parents, and kids all work together to make the team possible. They form bonds and those bonds make the whole thing possible.
The term sacrifice is a strange animal. Sacrifice means giving up something and that has come to be somewhat foreign to the language of our country and society. The only way for our president to sell his healthcare plan (no you cannot have my opinion on that), was to claim that nobody would have to sacrifice in any way, shape or form. When our school systems have to cut out some expenditure to balance the books, we stand, biting fingers, hoping that whatever is cut will not affect our kids' experience. We feel strongly that the school budget should be cut but we are not so much willing to give anything up. In a very real sense, we are like employee unions who understand there is a potentially devastating shortfall but are still unwilling to give up anything to keep the ship floating.
That's society and athletics are another matter. &nbvsp; Often, at least initially, the "sacrifice" required in sports is seen as a positive. Kids like practice almost as much as the games. And because they want to do well in games, they are willing to practice harder to accomplish their personal goals. Practice is sacrifice but it doesn't always seem like it. I don't know what your experience is like but my kids would be just fine missing all sorts of family get-togethers in order to find more time to practice softball.
Of course, when it doesn't hurt, that's not really sacrifice! Sacrifice happens when a kid has to give up a day at the beach in order to practice or play a scrimmage. If you are serious about softball, you cannot go out to the movies late on Friday night if you happen to have a first tournament game on Saturday at 8:00 am. You ought not have "sleepovers" on Saturday nights when the elimination round is Sunday beginning at 9:00. I have happily "sacrificed" a lot for my kids softball but I suppose that is not really sacrifice if I do it happily. It is the days when I miss the big game on TV, have to skip a BBQ with people I like to spend time with, or otherwise cannot do something I would rather do in order to play a second rate tournament or conduct a needed practice, which involve a measure of sacrifice. Catching my pitcher daughters when my wrist, shoulder or neck are killing me is sacrifice. My daughters doing a pitching session in February instead of going sledding with their friends is sacrifice.
Sacrifice is a complicated issue. For the most part everybody in softball is willing to give up something but that giving up must be repaid with something else that is arguably more important than that given up. The trick is to give up something you know you have (like a day at the beach) for something that may or may not pan out, like winning this tournament or beating that team. Sacrifice isn't really sacrifice unless and until you are uncertain about the rewards.
Commitment is an easier subject to touch upon quickly once you get past the term "sacrifice." Commitment is really a solemn pact one makes either with oneself or others to endure sacrifice in order to achieve something which is highly uncertain. Commitment comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the commitment one makes when signing up for a team to stay with that team for one year. That is the typical commitment made in travel softball because it is really a one year cycle. The implication of the visitor who posed the question was that their team involved a two year cycle and I understand how folks can interpret things that way. But because most organizations conduct tryouts at the same time each year and because most teams form under a one year commitment, that is the standard. It is somewhat unusual in travel softball circles for anyone to make a more than one year commitment because things change over time. Likewise, a "commitment" for less than one year is not seen as any kind of commitment at all.
When one commits to a team, generally one is committing to more than merely remaining a member of the roster for one year. Generally, one is agreeing to make all or most of the practices, to put out effort at those practices in order to help become better as an individual player and also to help the entire team get better, to work privately on one's own to improve skills in order to live up to a certain level of play, and to do whatever one sees one needs to do in order to help the team.
Very often pitchers see their level of commitment as a bit higher than other players. And it is because pitchers need to work on their pitching when others are doing almost nothing for their individual games. Pitchers practice more than other players, particularly in the off season. My own pitching daughters will come home from strenuous practices with their teams, but practices in which they did not pitch, and note that they need to spend time right afterwords cleaning up a pitch or two. While others are licking their wounds, taking showers or laying down for a nap, the pitchers are often still working.
It is certainly true that many non-pitchers do lots more work than mere team practices. Obviously, some girls take hitting instruction. Some attend defensive clinics. Some engage in training regimens that far exceed the normal practice work. And this displays a higher level of commitment, one that, if not rewarded immediately, will undoubtedly pay dividends not only to the individual but also her team(s), for years to come.
Commitment includes not merely making practices or working on one's craft or athleticism but also being healthy, awake, alert, etc. for all or most of the team's tournaments. That often means giving up things one would rather not give up, i.e. sacrifice, in order for the team to get someplace together. And this brings us to the term "common."
The commonality one shares in being a member of a team is really what all athletics is about. Why do we practice? &n bsp; To get better! Why do we want to get better? To win or play much more competitively! Ah, the common goal, that is what this team stuff is really all about.
So loyalty consists of, among perhaps other things, allegiance to the team including coaches, sacrifice in the name of that allegiance, commitment to make such sacrifices in order to live up to the allegiance, and a commonality of purpose. Loyalty must be a two way street because when one swears an allegiance, sacrifices for the group's good, and lives up to the commitment, one expects the entire team to do likewise.
On more than one occasion, I have watched games in which one kid has risen above the others or made much more substantial improvement because she worked and sacrificed to achieve more than her teammates. Sometimes, this can be reciprocated by the other team members who, witnessing the higher level of commitment, feel obligated to step up their own efforts. When everyone on a team catches this commitment virus, what we have is that magical thing called team chemistry. If we have that magical team chemistry, eventually it is going to pay off with accomplishment of common goals.
Also, on more than a few occasions, I have witnessed circumstances on which a few players on a team have not lived up to their commitment. They miss practices somewhat regularly, make excuses for various shortcomings. They have those late night sleepovers before an early Saturday game or even before the elimination games. A ball is hit to a kid who is just two tenths of a second late to react and this results in an error which costs a game, sending everyone home.
A key player failed to express that she would not be at some key tournament because she has a very important engagement to attend a family party or go on some vacation. The team gets smoked, losing all its games, because they were not able to replace that player in the lineup. Everyone is mad about it and just a little less willing to sacrifice something because they know this other person was able to pull it off. I can't count the number of times I have been in the coaches area or along the sidelines when some kid was not going to be there for an entire tournament. First, someone counts the number of player and wonders aloud, "who is missing?" Then someone else identifies the missing kid. They wonder where she is until a fourth person says, "0h, she is at her grandparents for a BBQ." Someone interjects, "Oh that's too bad but what's worse is we could have been at one too! Maybe next time we will go to the BBQ instead of the tournament."
This loyalty thing doesn't merely go from player to player within a team. It extends to the relationship between the coaches and all players and between all involved parties including parents. often when a kid misses practice, it is because the parent had something they would rather be doing. -; Maybe the kid missed a practice or tournament because the father's boss is having a picnic and he wants to go schmooze with his cronies. Maybe best friend Bob always has something big for March Madness and dad is not willing to take the kids to their "stupid practice" because he really, really likes hoops. Parents have to be responsible for making the commitment to hauling their kids to practices and doing so on time.
One of the more comical scenarios I have ob served is the one in which some kid repeatedly makes it to practice but is always late. Coaches get upset with this. You get your butt their at least 15 minutes before the scheduled time. You give it another 5 minutes so you have at least 10 kids. You get them all stretching and throwing but now you're 10 minutes behind schedule. You start the first drill and are almost done when all of a sudden, here comes another car and it is carrying Sally.
Sally is always this late to practice. And when she falls out of the car, she's usually only half dressed. She usually forgot something and has to borrow it from someone else. Sally is very popular with the other girls. They'd like to say hello to her. This is extremely disruptive to your practice which is now perhaps 20 minutes behind schedule. Sally's parent stays in their car or pulls away abruptly to run some other kid to some other practice. The coach is mad and he'll probably take it out on Sally. he may even be one of those emotionally well balanced individuals who will rationally explain to Sally that she simply must get to practice on time, or else ....
The truth is, Sally is just 11 or 12 or 13. She can't drive yet. And while you might expect her to at least be ready when her mom or dad drives her to practice rather than falling out of the car missing one shoe, etc., the fact is she wasn't home before coming. Her mother or father was out at the store with her and ran into a friend. She or he was gossiping with a friend when they realized practice had already begun. They pulled enough clothing out of the trunk and instructed Sally to make do. In short, it wasn't Sally's fault that she was late to this practice and it is never Sally's fault that she is always late to practice. What has happened is the parents have failed to understand their commitment.
There is much more to commitment once we bring in the coach-player relationship. Coaches, players, and parents all need to understand the pact they are making by entering into this joint venture. If, as the visitor to the site expressed, there is a certain plan under which a team has been pulled together, that play ought to be lived up to by all parties. This is the critical element to the loyalty between the parties on a travel ball team. And this is what is lacking in the circumstances enumerated above.
If a coach pulls together a certain group with the idea that this girl will be the primary shortstop, this one a catcher, that one a pitcher, etc. It should be understood that this is the way things are. I question the two year plan but fully understand the notion of trying to up the level of play over the long haul to make a team that is assumed to be less than competitive into a "force to be reckoned with." Still, reality is always more complicated than the best laid plans of mice and men.
There are times when a coach suspects that a player is not living up to their assumed level of commitment. For example, one kid seems to be a rapidly developing hitter at tryouts. She is added under the assumption that she will continue her hitting lessons and continue to take 100 swings a day year round. So when she starts out the year with a gigantic O-fer and the coach must move her down in the order to make room for the new "rapidly developing hitter," obviously noses are going to get out of joint and persons are going to believe others are not living up to their commitments. When the final pitcher added to the roster shows up at batting practice, is asked to throw, and can last no longer than 5 minutes, the coach is likely to ask her when the last time she threw was. If she says, "about two months ago," chances are very good the coach will be inwardly angry. If she gets pummeled in that hitting practice, he may suspect that he will not be able to count on this girl to eat innings during the early tournaments at the very least.
There can be times when an entire team is either not living up to the commitment a coach expected of everyone or is actually not seeming to live up to any level of commitment at all. From time to time, an entire team can take an attitude that once they are rostered, they get to relax and enjoy the ride. That is somewhat uncommon but it does happen almost as frquently as that magical chemiostry thing we spoke about before.
Loyalty involves a two way (at least) street. I know of a few folks who have from time to time joined travel teams, sometimes expensive ones, under the assumption that the team would, for example, practice 3 times per week from the end of school onwards. Then they get to the end of the season and recognize that the total number opf outdoor practices for the whole season was something they could count on just one or two hands. Or, alternately, a bunch of parents come together under the assumption that this or that coach who really knows their stuff is running the team. Unfortunately, that coach is not forceful enough and the other coaches refuse to listen to him or her. The idiot who actually knows absolutely nothing is calling all the shots. One parent was hopeful that this gal who played in college as recently as 5 years ago would teach his daughter how to really play third base. Instead, the guy wearing a baseball cap is requiring her to set up behind the bag and cover the base on all steals. He doesn't know squat and is freely teaching it to this parent's kid!
The situations I have described are somewhat normal. Nothing in this world is actually perfect. That is what makes it a perfect world! Teams form. Team fall apart. Some kids improve, some kids stay where they are, and some kids fall off. interest abbs and flows. Sacrifice is sometimes met with sacrifice and other times with lack of sacrifice. Commitments are lived up to and failed to be lived up to. Loyalty can sometimes be fleeting and is almost never absolute. Kids move on. Coaches move on. parents are unwilling to live with certain levels of commitment when they suspect their kid might decide to change priorities in the near-term future. That's just the way it is.
But in shorter terms, I do believe there is no real lack of loyalty. When I pull kids together and discuss a skill and ensuing drill, there is a decided majority who pay attention and give it their best. I have interacted with more players who are willing to do almost anything any coach asks of them than I have encountered kids on the ball field who really do not care. I have found myself driving to pick up the other kid from her practice and seen a kid from my team out working drills exactly as I suggested she should with her father. There is plenty of loyalty out there. If you have a team of 12 and only 10 show up for practices regularly, well, then you've got ten twelfths living up to the commitment.
Still, I understand folks frustration when they encounter that lack of commitment and sacrifice. Sometimes the exception seems like the rule. Sometimes the anecdotal is considered the general. Sometimes when one encounters one very bad thing and then perhaps finds it someplace else, one wonders if this is not the rule for the mini-society of travel softball. But I'm an optimist on this. I do not believe there is a real lack of loyalty in girls fastpitch travel softball. l; yet I have seen the particular circumstances described and I want to address it.
I once upon a time knew a coach who I would refer to as a "collector." He had a team with a full roster. They were pretty good but nothing special. They lacked a stud pitcher. Their SS was adequate but not a true "A" SS. Their hitting was somewhat weak. Obviously, although they were competitive, they did not play a lot of Sunday games.
One day a true stud pitcher, who was rostered on another team at a higher age group approached this coach - her father did, that is. The coach was informed of this kid's eligibility to play at the coach's team's age level and that she was free on several weekends they were playing tournaments. The kid was in vited to guest for 3 tourneys. She came in, knocked down batters easily and took the team to a championship at one or more of these guest tournaments.
The coach liked the taste of playing several games on Sunday. He was hooked. Later and in later years, he brought this girl in to pitch for his team. Then another similarly situated stud pitcher volunteered her services. Then another player came along, and another and eventually another. This went on for yars and I don;t really recall the precise events. But sfuccie it to say that players came and went and so did guests. At one point, I believe the guy had an official roster of 15 or more names.
Needless to say that when the first stud pitcher came in, the team's existing pitchers saw less time in the circle. Some no longer saw any pitching time. When two studs were available, most of the original pitchers either sat the bench or played other positions, at least until other position players started showing up. In the end, I suppose, it was possible for an original member of the team to see zero action or perhaps two to three innings just on Saturdays at each tournament the team played.
Does anyone need to be told this is a bad situation? I guess this coach does. To my knowledge, he is still out there doing this. And you know what? His team, in the overall sense, is not any better than when he started it.
I remember takling my daughter to a multi-team tryout one year in which there was one team we we were interested in. My daughter had already decided to accept an offer from another team but we had not communicated this yet. And if the one team asked her to join, she was probably going to say yes and forget about the other team. The other team at the tryout had a guy there who was known as a "collector." He too had once had 15 or more kids on his roster. During the course of the tryout, not a particularly good one for my kid, the collector came up to me and asked, if the other coach does not want your daughter, do you want to come with us? I looked the guy straight in the eye and thought of everything I wanted to tell him. Then I felt my mouth open up and say just one word, "NO!"
The collector coach was a bit surprised by my response. He seemed as surprised by its brevity and terseness as he was by the message. He stood there somewhat dumbfounded, looking at me. Then it struck him that I was not going to say anything more. He said, "OK" and walked away. I don't think he got it. I don't think he understands that he has a reputation which he can never overcome. I don;t think he understands that folks along the sidelines talk about him and his collection all the time.
The fallout for a kid who is a member of the team run by a collector is likely to suffer serious consequences. if she happens to be the number one at some position and a new kid comes to replace her, the rest of her season is going to be less than what she had hoped for. Worse, the team is going to build up some animosity as more and more better kids are collected rostered and placed into the lineup. The whole experience may damage her but this can be rectified, hopefully, when she gets to join another team without a "collector."
The coach on the other hand is going to become known as a collector. His tryouts are going to eventually be filled up with misfits, malcontents and generally people who are unwilling to make any sort of commitment to others. Heck, the kids and parents who populate the collector's roster know his reputation. They won't feel any particular compulsion to live up to any commitment. They know the guy's reputation as well as anyone else does. This stuff circulates far and wide.
When one first enters the fray, the world of travel ball seems very large. But before long, it is easy to recognize that it is a relatively small, somewhat closed, in some sense close-knit, group. We go to our first tournament and know almost nobody. We go to our second and recognize one of the teams, perhaps a coach or parent. As our experience broadens, it occurs to us that we see the same people over and over again. One day we find ourselves talking to someone we don't know along the sidelines of some game. Then we see them again two weeks later and talk some more. Within a few, brief years, we seem to know everybody and, of course, everybody's business!
Human beings like to talk. We also love scandal. In other words, we love to talk about anything but the best stuff to talk about is scandal. Discussions that are completely positive get a little boring!
"How are you?"
"Great and you?"
"Great! How's your daughter's team?"
"Great! Yours?"
"Great. Everything is going so well I have nothing bad to say."
"You know, that's exactly how I would characterize our experience. This year is going so great, I just don't know where to begin."
"OK, so I'll see you later. My kid's team is starting up now. Gotta run." (you absolute freakin nut)
Travel softball parents often spend their entire weekend at some complex mixing with other travel parents. We swap stories, gossip, and hopefully a little juicy scandal. Over time, reputations are established and ruined. There is competitive jostling over who is having the best experience and developing both as a player and person. There are war stories. There can be a little competition about who has the juiciest scandal or gossip.
"So, how's it going?"
"Pretty good. Pretty good. Say, did you hear about ... this guy actually did ... he said ... right to the players ... and the team up and quit ... he's trying to ... but ..."
"Excuse me one second." To wife who is trying to pull him towards the field where their daughter is playing because the game is about to begin, "You go ahead. I'll be along in a minute. I want to finish this conversation with Ralph first."
So, the moral of the story is, there is a strange animal out there called "the collector." If you encounter him, kick him in the shins and then run away as fast as you can. You probably won't recognize him at first. But if others tell you this is what he does, pay close attention. They very well may be right. Don't stay on a team with a collector as coach. Find someplace where there is actual loyalty. That means a team where words like allegiance, sacrifice, commitment, common goal actually mean something. Don't merely accept that these terms are thrown around. See that they are lived up to. See that you, your kid, the coaches and everybody else around you is willing to live up to them, for one year.
Good luck in your softball endeavors.Labels: parents, youth tournament teams
 
|
|
|
